Slashdot | The Riddle of Baghdad's Battery

I'm a Republican. When I hear about flag burners, I burn the Constitution just to spite them. I think war is great, even though I couldn't go myself, because a minority took my spot. I believe in free speech as long as I agree with it. I think it's great that America is no longer allies with France and Germany, and we are making new friends with Pakistan, Turkey, and Bulgaria. I think diplomacy, negotiation, and cooperation with other countries is for suckers, I wanna see some bombs dropping on pregnant women! Now there's an abortion I can support! Sorry, little collateral fetus! I can't wait for this war. I look at my picture of Saddam Hussein every day and growl at it for two minutes. It's right next to my pictures of Quadafi, Noreiga, Ortega, Milosevic, and Clinton. I figure I'm helping America by calling people terrorists if they don't support Bush. That way the war can start and we can finally make a law banning those stupid protestors. Cheap gas for my honkin SUV!